Life Doesn’t Pause, Even When You Need It…

My Mom’s journey in Hospice care is going well so far. They visit twice a week and give me weekly updates. If she ever needs more care they will see her up to twice a day; hopefully that never happens.

Car has been fixed and all the damaged from the house water damage done; but things took a bad spin when we had to put our dog to sleep.

She was a adopted Labrador Retriever mix, 15 years old. She was suffering from a calcification of her lower spine that was cutting off control to her back legs. One morning, she was found in her own mess in the kitchen unable to stand up-even with help. It was time. We had put it if off for months, hoping herbal supplements and such would bring some relief to her but she just kept getting worse, and this was the final straw.

One of the worst days of my life as I sat so close to her head I could feel her breathing stop, and it was done. It felt as if part of me wanted to turn back the clock ten seconds when she was happily eating the treats they were giving her, and the other part knew it was the right thing to do. It felt like it killed a part of me all the same.

Although way to early for me, my son begged for a replacement for Duke (our other dog) as a companion for him. So, off to the pound I went.

Now I’m wish I was one that could walk into a place like that and if nothing is perfect, then walk away, but I can’t. So what do I do? I walk out of there, with a friend, with a four month old Chocolate Lab mix; $200 worth of transporting kennel and indoor house kennel and dog toys. *sigh*

Now, it’s every two hours around the clock pee/poop outside, constant eye on her in the house, and a step on the leash when she tries to get away with something. Perhaps I’ll grow to love her, but the timing is so soon for me. I’m still grieving our first “baby”, and now caring for a new one. It’ll take time, and I will heal and love again.

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