Well the demolition part of things start today as I type. Carpet gone, walls coming down, and clean up from the sewer back up!
I have to admit, shamefully, that all the stress of this has turned me into a poor parent. I find that my patience with my children is so short, even for basic conversation. I feel awful about the fact that I feel like the sound of my children feel more like a nuisance rather than a time to connect.
I even found myself telling my son, Henry, to not talk o me as he was just trying to tell me stories he thought were funny. I also yelled at my little John for being gleeful and yelling and clapping his hands the way he does when he’s proud he did something right.
It was seriously time for Mommy to give herself a time-out, but I didn’t. I just handled it all wrong, and feel so awful about it.
I resolved that today I would explain to henry why my moods have been so unpredictable lately, and do better by John.
I need to give myself a clean slate, and just hit the reset button on myself. I may not be able to wipe away the stress, but taking it out on my family is not excusable.
So, today is a new day, and it’s some hours before the kids get home. I can try and find my calm, my patience, and reflect the devotion I want to show, and reconnect the ties that have been stretched thing by my own doing.